She's JV to your varsity
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Randomize
