The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades