Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone