Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
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we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!