Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
