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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Gross. gingers suck

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.

  (254): View more from Texas

  Jealous?

  (903): View more from Texas

  Very.

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• (925): View more from California

  I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.

  (1-925): View more from California

  We just have a real special relationship.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  ...that shit cray.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have a black eye again and dont know why again

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• (646): View more from New York

  lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!

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