Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
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You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
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my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go