I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
