I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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