"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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