I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
