Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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