Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
