He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We smell like vodka and hangover
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