what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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