yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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