thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
