hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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