that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We got so high we made milksteak
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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