I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
