everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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