You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Enjoy the penises
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
