Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
