You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
