pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
