hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
