There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
