Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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