I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
