Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
