it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just google imaged poop.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
