Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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