Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
