I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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