Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
