why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize