i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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