I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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