You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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