I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
