so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize