also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
