I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
