Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We got so high we made milksteak
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
