Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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