have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
