Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here