He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.