I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it