He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.