I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize