just come out here and I will go home with you...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
