well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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