I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm too high and old for this...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize