Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
