Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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