Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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