In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
