my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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