I wannas sexs uuuuu
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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