she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
