You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is it because I queefed?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
