Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
