Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I can text with my tongue
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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