i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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