You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
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You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
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to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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