ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
