Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
