i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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