You can't motorboat a personality
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast