The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
