so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
