Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
This house was built for laser tag.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Randomize
