How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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