kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize